Monday, June 29, 2009

June 28, 2009: Prayer and Cry of the Heart

So yesterday I was sort of in a bad mood, so I decided to journal. I never journal, but I just wanted to vent what I was feeling. I looked up out the window while venting and I saw a flock of birds dancing happily in the sky... here's how my journal entry ended up being:

"Lord, you are amazing! I just watched a flock of birds dance to the rhythm of your beat. The clouds bow down and worship you. You have been so good to us this summer with the weather you have provided for us. FOR the Beauty of the EARTH!! Lord, I want to bask in your sunshine. I want to feel your breath on my face. I want to hear creation singing your praises. I watch the trees dancing and whispering praises of your name and telling me of how wonderful you are. I love how the sea has a story to share of how you first created them and how you did so many miracles. They are at your command. I thank you for creating music to move us towards you. Lord, you created thunder and lightning and I praise you for them and how I feel your presence when they surround me. I love your gorgeous sunsets that you paint for me every night. Most importantly I love your gift of family. Lord, I thank you so much for my family. They are so important to me and I love them so much. Lord, please help me to rebuild those friendships that I feel like I've destroyed. Please help them understand that I love them and they are important to me.

"Lord, I am YOURS!!! Take me! I am surrendering my all to YOU! I am surrendering my sins to You! I am surrendering my thoughts to you! I am surrendering my whole life. I don't want anything to be before You. I want YOU! Praise the Lord, O my soul! Lord, please let me be an instrument for You! Take me where You want me to go. I will praise You! Let me worship You everyday. Everyday Lord, I surrender myself to You. Here I am Lord, send me. Let me be a missionary for You. Let me have so much joy that my cup is overflowing in abundance.

"Lord, I am resting in You. I am trusting in You. I trust that you will forgive me of my sins. I trust that You will be first in my life. I trust that You will bind Satan up and send him to hell. I trust that You will get rid of everything that keeps me from putting You first in my life. You are the love of my life. I love You!"

Joy To the World

I'm one of those who LOVES Christmas songs. And I would say that Joy to the World is not my favorite. But Bebo Norman's version of Joy to the World is Ah-mazing! I didn't like it at first, but my roommate last year in Ireland was absolutely in love with the song! So I heard it a lot and eventually grew to love it. I just love how joyful it is!! Makes me want to dance every time. haha... what does this have to do with anything!

"Hallelujah! The LORD IS COME!!!!" I need a reminder every single day at how amazing GOD is!!! Every morning I wake up at an unreasonable hour to spend time with God in His loving arms. I definitely did not use to be like this. I started this habit this past year in Nashville. I realized that I need DAILY strength from God. And so daily I would get up with my fresh cup of coffee, before I went in to Starbucks, and read God's letter to me and bask in His love. Some mornings I fall asleep, well... most mornings..., but not for the whole time. But that's ok, because my Lord loves every moment I want to be with him, even if that means I fall asleep in His arms. I absolutely LOVE this time that I have with my Father, my Saviour, and my Comforter!! I cry, I rejoice, I sing, and I am silent as I listen to the song of the birds and as I look out onto what he's created, or rather creating the man who created the skyline I am looking at right now! It's this simple skyline that gives me joy every morning and every night with it's gorgeous sunsets.The beauty of God's creation is that I never get tired of it. NEVER!! I think I have a million pictures of this one tree in my favorite park in Dublin. I have a million pictures of this skyline in probably the dirtiest part of Dublin. But I never get tired of it. I never get tired of hearing the thunder roll!!! Oh Thunder!!! I absolutely love thunder! I'm pretty sure it's one of my favorite sounds! I really feel a sense of God when I hear it, and there are so many imageries in the Bible that describes God's voice as a roll of thunder! I love hearing the waves crash against the shore and the smell of salt water! Basically, I never tire of what God has created for me to take pleasure in every day!

“I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You”

Bebo Norman





Friday, June 19, 2009

Hey Kids! It's time for Xpresso Arts Festival!

Inspiration: youth camps

Cup'a Cha

Not to be taken seriously! Common... have a laugh! The Irish are... and having a laugh with them is also ministry!

Friday, June 12, 2009

I need wife

"Lord, please send someone who will pursue me because you know I don't take hints well. I want someone who will think I'm beautiful." My prayer was definitely answered, but as we all know God has a funny way of going about things. Not quite sure what He's thinking up there, but I'm pretty sure He's getting a laugh out of all this!

Proposal #1
First there was the African pastor from one of the churches that meets in Number 5, David. He talks and talks and talks.... and so usually I try to avoid him. (is that bad?) Anyway, it was my second Sunday after a year long rest from this dude. In order to get to my flat, that's all the way on the 5th floor, I have to enter a security code. This code has mood swings, sometimes it will unlock on the first try, but there are days when its stubborn and won't unlock till after 20 tries.

The church meets right beside the security code and if I manage to punch in the keys real fast and get it unlocked I can successfully avoid David. The security lock was in a very bad mood this particular day and I was unfortunately spotted by David as soon as I was opening the door. I decided that I would be nice and formal and just let him talk. I'm to meet the Boals in a few minutes so David leaves the building with me to go meet them. On the way to meet them David is talking about his church and how no Irish go to it. He says its because they don't like Africans, in which I replied I like Africans (because I do). He says "Oh really. You dating anyone." Me: "Um No??" David, "Then we should get married. I need good spiritual wife and you need husband. We should get married." WHOAH!! Now David is the type of guy who I can never tell if he is joking or is serious...but he didn't seem like he was joking... so I don't know. I just calmy told him no I'm good with my situation! haha..

Proposal #2
Now this is AWESOME! I'm at the Lighthouse (read post below) and in probably the only hallway about to go downstairs to help a lady find some clothes. I can't remember what happened, but somehow I ended up alone in the hallway. This guy, Alex, comes up to me and says, "Ti takAya krasIvaya." WHAT?!?! I just looked at him, smile, nod and said, "uh huh!" He says it again. I make a gesture like "I have no idea what you're saying dude!"
He says, "no english, russian?"
Me:"Sorry no!"
Alex: "deutsch?"
Me:"Nope"
Alex:"
Ti takAya krasIvaya"
His friend had come along by then and said, "He say he think you beautiful."
Me, "Oh thank you." So I thought that was the end of it because obviously we had a slight problem of not being able to understand each other. I mean, I have trouble understanding my own friends, let alone trying to understand a guy who is speaking Russian!!

Oh no! NOT the end. No indeed. I come upstairs and he points for me to sit down. Why I decided to sit down beside him is beyond me! Sometimes I do stupid things. Anyway, the whole time he is trying to speak to me in Russian! Still have no idea what your saying buddy. It's funny because every culture does it. We think that if we speak slower or louder that people will finally be able to understand us. Finally he looks at me and says, "I need wife." Where in the world he learned that phrase I have NO idea. Perhaps he asked a buddy. I don't think I replied, I was kind of shocked and I think i just shrugged my shoulders, because I guess I didn't think he would understand me saying that it wasn't going to happen.

Anyway, he asks when he can see me again and I tell him that I am only here on Thursday nights. He comes back again last night. This time I decide that I'm staying behind the counter. He comes in with a TRANSLATOR!! I mean, that was sweet for him to have a translator so that we could talk, but.... Anyway, my roommate, whose name is also Alex talks to man Alex. Apparently man Alex told her that "he gave his heart to me and that he fell in love." I'm not gonna lie and say that that is not one of sweetest things I've heard.

(Side note: Dad if you are reading this, I'm fine! I would never hang out with him alone. Paige and girl Alex are with me and I have to wear gloves at the Lighthouse.)

So finally I go out and talk to him, with Paige by my side.
He gave me a book The Secret and tells me that it is a gift and I am never to give the book away because when someone gives you a gift it is important and rude to give away. I'll read it, for the sake of reading it, but it's more like a spiritual book in the sense of finding inner peace and going on a journey. Apparently its better in Russian and I'm to read it online in Russian if I can. Ok?!?

He said that he has read the Bible several times, but I'm not sure what he believes because he told girl Alex that he was a Mormon and had friends in Salt Lake City.

I told him he could come to Abbey if he wanted to see me again. I don't get creeped out by him like some of the other guys that I have met. (reiterate Dad I will not talk to him alone) Perhaps God will open the door to share my faith. Who knows, perhaps he will become a pastor and learn English and we'll be jolly happy people. haha... but I think it's a friendship that I can't ignore.

He definitely is pursuing me... too bad it's not going to work. But dang, American/Irish men you need to step up your game!!! When you like a girl just go for it. There are SO MANY AMAZING women out there. SO MANY!!! I give props to every guy that goes out on a limb and tries. Even if it doesn't work, good JOB!

Well, chappy chaps.... That's the story, I'm sure there will be more!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Sekai

Sekai, Lai Lai, and Davidso

Sekai is an amazing lady from Zimbabwe who came to Abbey about the same time I did in the beginning of 2007. She left her country because of political warfare, but had to leave her two little children behind. She has been trying and praying desperately to be reunited with her children. But for some reason the Irish government would not allow it. FINALLY, after 2 years of faithfulness God answered her. Here are her AMAZING children!!! God is SO EXTREMELY good!!

1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.

2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.

3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
Selah

4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.

5 I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;

6 I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart mused and my spirit inquired:

7 "Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?

8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?

9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
Selah

10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:
the years of the right hand of the Most High."

11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.

12 I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.

13 Your ways, O God, are holy.
What god is so great as our God?

14 You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.

15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah

16 The waters saw you, O God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.

17 The clouds poured down water,
the skies resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.

18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.

19 Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.

20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

Monday, June 8, 2009

The Lighthouse & Paul

We also volunteer our time at The Lighthouse! The Lighthouse is a ministry for the homeless. Boy is God teaching me about love! I have always held this arrogance towards the homeless and if I'm really honest with myself I would say that I still do. But it's only been 2 weeks. One of my missionary friends here, Stephanie Luke, has been volunteering for several months now and when I thought my work at Abbey was going to be slow I decided I would go outside and volunteer my time.

I was, of course, a little scared the first time. I was just behind the counter my first time helping. It was amazing to see how many homeless people came in and to think that this is only a fraction of how many homeless people there really are. The more amazing thing was thinking about how I could be just like them... well, I am just like them, but how God could suddenly take everything away from me to where my total dependence would be on Him. And that might not be so bad. To experience total surrender and giving ALL I have to Him... my WHOLE life. Now that's living life on the edge, true faith.

I had the opportunity to go on a short term mission trip with my church in Nashville, West End CC. During our time we helped renovate Paul's apartment. When I first met Paul I stereotyped him right away! As we were waiting for Chuck, Paul's brother-in-law and a missionary that West End supports, we decided to sit in the hotel lounge that we were standing in front of. I couldn't help but look around and notice everyone looking at us. I knew EXACTLY what they were thinking, because I've thought it SO many times! "Those Americans trying to Christianize the homeless druggie. They don't know that he's just scamming them. He's got them eating out of his hands." I've always passed over the drugged out sleepers begging for money on the streets. I've never given them a time of day. I'm not even sure if I've prayed for them. God is opening my eyes.

My grinch-like heart grew with love for Paul. He is an amazing person! He's so extremely talented, humble, accepting, and has one of the most joyful singing voices I've ever heard. He kept talking about how not only was there a drastic outward change in his apartment, but there he had a clean and changed heart.

I saw Paul in the homeless people I served. I had to keep reminding myself last week that I am no better then any of the people I serve. In fact, I don't deserve to serve them. Last week was so heartbreaking! Because there was a lot of us helping I was volunteered to sit out with the homeless (Homeless is starting to bug me, so I'm changing the name to 'the blessed')

One of the volunteer's, Liz, asked me to go with her as she helped a lady, Elizabeth, find some clothes. They have clothes downstairs that they give the blessed when they need it. As we were looking for her sizes Liz kept conversations going with her. At one point she asks Elizabeth if she can pray with or for her. Elizabeth was not keen on this idea. I only heard part of her story because I was interrupted a few times.

Elizabeth basically told us her life story. I'm going to choose to believe it because there was a deep pain that lying just can do. Here's her story: She has experienced every kind of tragedy known to man. She has been molested, rapped several times, she moved to England and while there was kidnapped and had a gun stuck down her throat. She was put into the witness protection programme for about 12 years. She had about 12 miscarriages or still-borns. Her two surving children are with their grandmother. Under the witness protection programme her identity was Missy, and has a hard time saying her real name. But she prefers being called by her real name. She came to us with bandages on her arms where she tried to commit suicide. My heart BREAKS for her!!!! I struggle with not believing her story because it seems so unreal, but she was in SO much pain!! Liz prayed, and I prayed the whole time she was talking. We gave her two LONG hugs which she appreciated so much. She says she was a Christian but after everything she can't see how God would do this to her. How do you tell someone that God does love them when so much horrible things have happened?!?! How do you give them hope? How do you speak of God's goodness and righteousness? How do you explain to them that God really is good? All I could tell her was that I was SO glad that she was there and I hoped to see her next Thursday. She kept asking, "Why are you glad I came? I'm not different than anyone else? I've been through a lot but that doesn't make me any special." I told her that she's been through so much and has survived it for this long that she must be an amazingly strong woman! She told Liz right before she left that she did feel better. Only God, it's only God!

I'm no better. It could easily happen to me. Why does this happen to certain people and not to others? I have no idea! I wish there was an easy answer. How do you tell the blessed that they truly are loved by God? How do you tell them that there is a hope? Pray Pray PRAY!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Joy to the World

On a Happier note to all my other posts.... I'm listening to Joy to the World by Bebo Norman. An amazing version of the Christmas song that I pretty much listen to and get excited about all year long!

I've only spent one week with my roommates and already we have done SO much! I'm so blessed to have such amazing roommates! We've had an interesting time together, to say the least!!!

We've swam the Irish sea and got slightly burned in the process in the nice shape of my v-neck shirt! Went to the Maritime festival twice, saw some tall ships, heard Irish music on one of those boats, loads of delicious food, and people everywhere!! We watched The Dark Knight in People's Park in Dun Laoghaire. We took the wrong bus going to the aiport to pick Paige up so we had to take a taxi to the airport and then we took a taxi back to the flat. It was then that I realized I had lost my iphone. Sad times, but it's not a big loss, just frustrating knowing there is someone out there who got a free iphone or has sold it for drugs.

On Sunday we walked to the youth club at Adelaide Rd, which is about a 45 minute walk from Abbey Church. The nicest part of this walk is going through St. Stephen's Green. We spotted some boys feeding a FLOCK of pigeons. Paige wanted to take a picture of this, so Alex decides she is going to pretend she's Ghandi sitting in the middle of the pigeons. Almost as soon as she sits down the pigeons at one time start FLYING at us like we are prey!!! Pigeons and feathers everywhere. I was SO frightened for my life! I never scream and this was one of those times that I let out a shrill of terror! I wish we had video-tapped it. I was living Alfred Hitchcocks The Birds!


























Today, we decided to hike up Bray head to the cross and then walk to Greystones! While we were on the Dart Alex fell asleep and, I think from sleep deprivation, Paige and I thought this was the funniest thing that ever happened! WE walked by the rough waters of Bray Beach and up through Narnian woods where we thought Mr. Tumnus would come and rescue us, but alas... Mr. Tumnus was nowhere to be found. Finally we made it to Bray Cross! It was beautiful, but the wind was something fierce. My hair was flyin' every which way, let's just say I haven't tried to brush through it yet! We then walked through Leprechaun Valley where we happened upon a family of WILD horses. Then we decided to hike our way down to the Bray to Greystones trail. So we fought our way through Ireland's untamed beauty of tall grass and thorns. Thank you, Lord, that St. Patrick drove out the snakes. After hiking for several hours we sat at the Happy Pear, in which we were very happy with our cups of tea and coffee and delicious pastries and admiring the view (cough).

On our way back home we passed the red carpet premiere of The Hangover. So naturally we stayed and took celebrity pictures! Although I can't really remember any of there names, but it was fun nonetheless! And we topped it off with pizza and a movie (Lars and the Real Girl). Oh Happy Monday!!!

Pictures and videos to come

Hardwicke St.

I think God is really teaching me this year on how to love those who are in a sense 'displaced.' People who seem like outsiders and outcasts. I have been praying to God for more love. For more love for myself and especially more love to others. I think I can get to caught up with the world's opinion of the "lovable" that I forget who Jesus really loved. I spend so much time wanting to fit in with that crowd that I lose sight of amazing people right in front of me. So, that's why I've been asking for more love.

On Wednesdays we have been going to Hardwicke St. Community Centre. Hardwicke St. is just a collection of apartment buildings built to make a square. It's probably the closest thing to the projects that we have in Dublin. In the middle is a playground and a court for basketball, soccer, rugby, etc... And then you have the community centre. In here you will find 10 up-to-date computers and in another room 2 big screen tvs with wii and xbox, a pool table, foosball, and table tennis. Every day they open the doors from 3-5. They divide the kids into younger and older. The two groups spend an hour in one room and the other hour in the other room.

So our job is coming there ever Wednesday, and more if we can manage it, and to hang out with the kids and to 'keep and eye on them' I was so scared my first Wednesday. These are Dubliner kids and they are COMPLETELY different than American kids. I don't know what it is, but they seem to be more street smart than American kids. But maybe all kids who grow up in a major city are like that.

But these kids are amazing. I didn't have to initiate conversation at all. They wanted someone to play with them and hang out with them. They love trying to say "y'all" like we do! The 2 hours fly by! In about 2 weeks we are starting up a 3 weeks programme for them. During these weeks we are going to have various workshops from art (go Leah!), dj, dance, possibly juggling, and music. It's going to be amazing. I'm really excited about this opportunity we have to LOVE on these kids and give them something that they normally wouldn't get to experience!