On May 16 I stepped out into the waiting area of Dublin airport. I immediately saw Alan and Ruth, I took a deep breath and thought, “I’m home!” Besides being with my immediate family, I have never been as comfortable in a place as I am in Abbey.
This summer I learned so much about myself, about Ireland, and about Abbey.
You know what I love about Abbey? The people! You all make the place so special. Yes the building is pretty amazing and I love it, but that’s not what makes a home. I come in and see smiling faces that brightens the whole place up! You want to see me and care about me. It’s amazing how certain ones of you know me so well that you can see what my mood is for that day and ask me seriously how I am doing. You are real friends. I love how Abbey is so diverse. That is what makes Abbey so special and it makes me think of what Heaven will look like. People from all tongues and tribes will praise His name.
Right now I’m sitting in my house wondering what I’m doing in life. I’m only 25, but for a 25 year old it seems like I should have some sort of direction. I decided to turn off my tv and read the Bible. I haven’t really been in my daily routine, or rather, I haven’t really been enjoying my daily routine of reading the Bible. So I put on my headphones to focus better, because music always helps me think better. God spoke to me through one of songs I was listening to. I do believe that God has unique ways of talking to us. It’s a song that I have never really thought much about, until God put the words in my ears. Here are the lyrics:
“The same old stuff I have to do.
Over and over and over and over again each day it seems.
Nothing great to show off my abilities and my worth.
So show me my purpose in the midst of this routine.
Because I am trying to understand why I am here at all.
There’s so many guesses and too many simple answers.
Could it be that life is not what I think at all?
It’s not the big things but the ordinary in between
And maybe this is not the time to be waiting for any better reason to be glad
that I’m alive at all.
So help me take each day each simple thing that I must do
to bring glory to You.
And I could search out a lot of ways to keep me doing things
and attempt to make my mark,
Then maybe I miss the mark for Your desire for me.
And I will trust in You in everything I do. And do it as for You.
And I am learning to understand why I am here at all.
There’s no need for guesses when You are the simple answer.
You show me that life is not what I think at all,
It’s not the big things but the ordinary in between.
Maybe this is not the time at all to be waiting for
any better reason to be glad at all.
So help me take each day each simple thing that I must do
to bring glory to You.”
I have been questioning my life and what I’m doing. While Starbucks is a great place to work and I love my coworkers and customers, it’s lost its excitement and I’m ready to move on to my next “adventure” in life. I’ve thought about being an English teacher in Korea, wouldn’t that be exciting? Or being a photographer for National Geographic, a pilot, a flight attendant, archeologist, a CSI, detective, spy, CIA, or a missionary to some unknown indigenous tribe in South America where the people are known for their hatred and violence and leading them all to Christ. Maybe I’ll be one of those someday, highly unlikely, but the question is, “Where is my heart in all this?” Am I really seeking out what God wants for me in life or am I seeking out adventure. Partly the reason for my restlessness is that I just don’t feel at home here in Nashville, probably because I have not given it time; but also, I have not been enjoying the simple things that God is putting in my life.
Most importantly I have not been truly loving the people God has been putting in my life. I mean, how am I expected to lead a tribe to Christ if I am not loving those that God is placing right before my eyes. Lately, I have been desiring a good community of believers. One of the first nights I was in Nashville I had a dream of a small community of believers sitting together in the living room playing and singing for hours praising our God. I still have that longing, but it won’t happen overnight. I have a problem of holding back and not giving the love I know that I can give towards others. I should be willing to embrace Christians and shower them with love because we believe in the same God! I struggle with getting close to people, but God does not call us to walk alone! He calls us to have fellowship and that doesn’t mean a simple “Hi, how are you doing?” It’s a deep embrace, prayers for each other, loving others and having a desire to see them and know them better!
I have made a home in Dublin and at Abbey. I have wondered and questioned God why I must leave my home. The only answer I know is that here on earth I have no home. I will never be “home” on earth because my home is not in Mississippi, Dublin, or Tennessee. It’s in Heaven. It’s in the Body of Believers. That is where I feel most at home.
My prayer for Abbey is that there would be community. That the community we feel and have at Ovoca would be conveyed throughout the year. That we would not long to go to Ovoca once a year, but we would long to go to church once a week, and more!! The Lord is our Saviour!!! We rejoice in that common bond!!
So, where is home? Home is in the Body of Christ. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 15: 34
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
June 28, 2009: Prayer and Cry of the Heart
So yesterday I was sort of in a bad mood, so I decided to journal. I never journal, but I just wanted to vent what I was feeling. I looked up out the window while venting and I saw a flock of birds dancing happily in the sky... here's how my journal entry ended up being:
"Lord, you are amazing! I just watched a flock of birds dance to the rhythm of your beat. The clouds bow down and worship you. You have been so good to us this summer with the weather you have provided for us. FOR the Beauty of the EARTH!! Lord, I want to bask in your sunshine. I want to feel your breath on my face. I want to hear creation singing your praises. I watch the trees dancing and whispering praises of your name and telling me of how wonderful you are. I love how the sea has a story to share of how you first created them and how you did so many miracles. They are at your command. I thank you for creating music to move us towards you. Lord, you created thunder and lightning and I praise you for them and how I feel your presence when they surround me. I love your gorgeous sunsets that you paint for me every night. Most importantly I love your gift of family. Lord, I thank you so much for my family. They are so important to me and I love them so much. Lord, please help me to rebuild those friendships that I feel like I've destroyed. Please help them understand that I love them and they are important to me.
"Lord, I am YOURS!!! Take me! I am surrendering my all to YOU! I am surrendering my sins to You! I am surrendering my thoughts to you! I am surrendering my whole life. I don't want anything to be before You. I want YOU! Praise the Lord, O my soul! Lord, please let me be an instrument for You! Take me where You want me to go. I will praise You! Let me worship You everyday. Everyday Lord, I surrender myself to You. Here I am Lord, send me. Let me be a missionary for You. Let me have so much joy that my cup is overflowing in abundance.
"Lord, I am resting in You. I am trusting in You. I trust that you will forgive me of my sins. I trust that You will be first in my life. I trust that You will bind Satan up and send him to hell. I trust that You will get rid of everything that keeps me from putting You first in my life. You are the love of my life. I love You!"
"Lord, you are amazing! I just watched a flock of birds dance to the rhythm of your beat. The clouds bow down and worship you. You have been so good to us this summer with the weather you have provided for us. FOR the Beauty of the EARTH!! Lord, I want to bask in your sunshine. I want to feel your breath on my face. I want to hear creation singing your praises. I watch the trees dancing and whispering praises of your name and telling me of how wonderful you are. I love how the sea has a story to share of how you first created them and how you did so many miracles. They are at your command. I thank you for creating music to move us towards you. Lord, you created thunder and lightning and I praise you for them and how I feel your presence when they surround me. I love your gorgeous sunsets that you paint for me every night. Most importantly I love your gift of family. Lord, I thank you so much for my family. They are so important to me and I love them so much. Lord, please help me to rebuild those friendships that I feel like I've destroyed. Please help them understand that I love them and they are important to me.
"Lord, I am YOURS!!! Take me! I am surrendering my all to YOU! I am surrendering my sins to You! I am surrendering my thoughts to you! I am surrendering my whole life. I don't want anything to be before You. I want YOU! Praise the Lord, O my soul! Lord, please let me be an instrument for You! Take me where You want me to go. I will praise You! Let me worship You everyday. Everyday Lord, I surrender myself to You. Here I am Lord, send me. Let me be a missionary for You. Let me have so much joy that my cup is overflowing in abundance.
"Lord, I am resting in You. I am trusting in You. I trust that you will forgive me of my sins. I trust that You will be first in my life. I trust that You will bind Satan up and send him to hell. I trust that You will get rid of everything that keeps me from putting You first in my life. You are the love of my life. I love You!"
Joy To the World
I'm one of those who LOVES Christmas songs. And I would say that Joy to the World is not my favorite. But Bebo Norman's version of Joy to the World is Ah-mazing! I didn't like it at first, but my roommate last year in Ireland was absolutely in love with the song! So I heard it a lot and eventually grew to love it. I just love how joyful it is!! Makes me want to dance every time. haha... what does this have to do with anything!
"Hallelujah! The LORD IS COME!!!!" I need a reminder every single day at how amazing GOD is!!! Every morning I wake up at an unreasonable hour to spend time with God in His loving arms. I definitely did not use to be like this. I started this habit this past year in Nashville. I realized that I need DAILY strength from God. And so daily I would get up with my fresh cup of coffee, before I went in to Starbucks, and read God's letter to me and bask in His love. Some mornings I fall asleep, well... most mornings..., but not for the whole time. But that's ok, because my Lord loves every moment I want to be with him, even if that means I fall asleep in His arms. I absolutely LOVE this time that I have with my Father, my Saviour, and my Comforter!! I cry, I rejoice, I sing, and I am silent as I listen to the song of the birds and as I look out onto what he's created, or rather creating the man who created the skyline I am looking at right now! It's this simple skyline that gives me joy every morning and every night with it's gorgeous sunsets.
The beauty of God's creation is that I never get tired of it. NEVER!! I think I have a million pictures of this one tree in my favorite park in Dublin. I have a million pictures of this skyline in probably the dirtiest part of Dublin. But I never get tired of it. I never get tired of hearing the thunder roll!!! Oh Thunder!!! I absolutely love thunder! I'm pretty sure it's one of my favorite sounds! I really feel a sense of God when I hear it, and there are so many imageries in the Bible that describes God's voice as a roll of thunder! I love hearing the waves crash against the shore and the smell of salt water! Basically, I never tire of what God has created for me to take pleasure in every day!
"Hallelujah! The LORD IS COME!!!!" I need a reminder every single day at how amazing GOD is!!! Every morning I wake up at an unreasonable hour to spend time with God in His loving arms. I definitely did not use to be like this. I started this habit this past year in Nashville. I realized that I need DAILY strength from God. And so daily I would get up with my fresh cup of coffee, before I went in to Starbucks, and read God's letter to me and bask in His love. Some mornings I fall asleep, well... most mornings..., but not for the whole time. But that's ok, because my Lord loves every moment I want to be with him, even if that means I fall asleep in His arms. I absolutely LOVE this time that I have with my Father, my Saviour, and my Comforter!! I cry, I rejoice, I sing, and I am silent as I listen to the song of the birds and as I look out onto what he's created, or rather creating the man who created the skyline I am looking at right now! It's this simple skyline that gives me joy every morning and every night with it's gorgeous sunsets.
The beauty of God's creation is that I never get tired of it. NEVER!! I think I have a million pictures of this one tree in my favorite park in Dublin. I have a million pictures of this skyline in probably the dirtiest part of Dublin. But I never get tired of it. I never get tired of hearing the thunder roll!!! Oh Thunder!!! I absolutely love thunder! I'm pretty sure it's one of my favorite sounds! I really feel a sense of God when I hear it, and there are so many imageries in the Bible that describes God's voice as a roll of thunder! I love hearing the waves crash against the shore and the smell of salt water! Basically, I never tire of what God has created for me to take pleasure in every day!
“I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You”
Bebo Norman
Friday, June 19, 2009
Cup'a Cha
Not to be taken seriously! Common... have a laugh! The Irish are... and having a laugh with them is also ministry!
Friday, June 12, 2009
I need wife
"Lord, please send someone who will pursue me because you know I don't take hints well. I want someone who will think I'm beautiful." My prayer was definitely answered, but as we all know God has a funny way of going about things. Not quite sure what He's thinking up there, but I'm pretty sure He's getting a laugh out of all this!
Proposal #1
First there was the African pastor from one of the churches that meets in Number 5, David. He talks and talks and talks.... and so usually I try to avoid him. (is that bad?) Anyway, it was my second Sunday after a year long rest from this dude. In order to get to my flat, that's all the way on the 5th floor, I have to enter a security code. This code has mood swings, sometimes it will unlock on the first try, but there are days when its stubborn and won't unlock till after 20 tries.
The church meets right beside the security code and if I manage to punch in the keys real fast and get it unlocked I can successfully avoid David. The security lock was in a very bad mood this particular day and I was unfortunately spotted by David as soon as I was opening the door. I decided that I would be nice and formal and just let him talk. I'm to meet the Boals in a few minutes so David leaves the building with me to go meet them. On the way to meet them David is talking about his church and how no Irish go to it. He says its because they don't like Africans, in which I replied I like Africans (because I do). He says "Oh really. You dating anyone." Me: "Um No??" David, "Then we should get married. I need good spiritual wife and you need husband. We should get married." WHOAH!! Now David is the type of guy who I can never tell if he is joking or is serious...but he didn't seem like he was joking... so I don't know. I just calmy told him no I'm good with my situation! haha..
Proposal #2
Now this is AWESOME! I'm at the Lighthouse (read post below) and in probably the only hallway about to go downstairs to help a lady find some clothes. I can't remember what happened, but somehow I ended up alone in the hallway. This guy, Alex, comes up to me and says, "Ti takAya krasIvaya." WHAT?!?! I just looked at him, smile, nod and said, "uh huh!" He says it again. I make a gesture like "I have no idea what you're saying dude!"
He says, "no english, russian?"
Me:"Sorry no!"
Alex: "deutsch?"
Me:"Nope"
Alex:"Ti takAya krasIvaya"
His friend had come along by then and said, "He say he think you beautiful."
Me, "Oh thank you." So I thought that was the end of it because obviously we had a slight problem of not being able to understand each other. I mean, I have trouble understanding my own friends, let alone trying to understand a guy who is speaking Russian!!
Oh no! NOT the end. No indeed. I come upstairs and he points for me to sit down. Why I decided to sit down beside him is beyond me! Sometimes I do stupid things. Anyway, the whole time he is trying to speak to me in Russian! Still have no idea what your saying buddy. It's funny because every culture does it. We think that if we speak slower or louder that people will finally be able to understand us. Finally he looks at me and says, "I need wife." Where in the world he learned that phrase I have NO idea. Perhaps he asked a buddy. I don't think I replied, I was kind of shocked and I think i just shrugged my shoulders, because I guess I didn't think he would understand me saying that it wasn't going to happen.
Anyway, he asks when he can see me again and I tell him that I am only here on Thursday nights. He comes back again last night. This time I decide that I'm staying behind the counter. He comes in with a TRANSLATOR!! I mean, that was sweet for him to have a translator so that we could talk, but.... Anyway, my roommate, whose name is also Alex talks to man Alex. Apparently man Alex told her that "he gave his heart to me and that he fell in love." I'm not gonna lie and say that that is not one of sweetest things I've heard.
(Side note: Dad if you are reading this, I'm fine! I would never hang out with him alone. Paige and girl Alex are with me and I have to wear gloves at the Lighthouse.)
So finally I go out and talk to him, with Paige by my side. He gave me a book The Secret and tells me that it is a gift and I am never to give the book away because when someone gives you a gift it is important and rude to give away. I'll read it, for the sake of reading it, but it's more like a spiritual book in the sense of finding inner peace and going on a journey. Apparently its better in Russian and I'm to read it online in Russian if I can. Ok?!?
He said that he has read the Bible several times, but I'm not sure what he believes because he told girl Alex that he was a Mormon and had friends in Salt Lake City.
I told him he could come to Abbey if he wanted to see me again. I don't get creeped out by him like some of the other guys that I have met. (reiterate Dad I will not talk to him alone) Perhaps God will open the door to share my faith. Who knows, perhaps he will become a pastor and learn English and we'll be jolly happy people. haha... but I think it's a friendship that I can't ignore.
He definitely is pursuing me... too bad it's not going to work. But dang, American/Irish men you need to step up your game!!! When you like a girl just go for it. There are SO MANY AMAZING women out there. SO MANY!!! I give props to every guy that goes out on a limb and tries. Even if it doesn't work, good JOB!
Well, chappy chaps.... That's the story, I'm sure there will be more!
Proposal #1
First there was the African pastor from one of the churches that meets in Number 5, David. He talks and talks and talks.... and so usually I try to avoid him. (is that bad?) Anyway, it was my second Sunday after a year long rest from this dude. In order to get to my flat, that's all the way on the 5th floor, I have to enter a security code. This code has mood swings, sometimes it will unlock on the first try, but there are days when its stubborn and won't unlock till after 20 tries.
The church meets right beside the security code and if I manage to punch in the keys real fast and get it unlocked I can successfully avoid David. The security lock was in a very bad mood this particular day and I was unfortunately spotted by David as soon as I was opening the door. I decided that I would be nice and formal and just let him talk. I'm to meet the Boals in a few minutes so David leaves the building with me to go meet them. On the way to meet them David is talking about his church and how no Irish go to it. He says its because they don't like Africans, in which I replied I like Africans (because I do). He says "Oh really. You dating anyone." Me: "Um No??" David, "Then we should get married. I need good spiritual wife and you need husband. We should get married." WHOAH!! Now David is the type of guy who I can never tell if he is joking or is serious...but he didn't seem like he was joking... so I don't know. I just calmy told him no I'm good with my situation! haha..
Proposal #2
Now this is AWESOME! I'm at the Lighthouse (read post below) and in probably the only hallway about to go downstairs to help a lady find some clothes. I can't remember what happened, but somehow I ended up alone in the hallway. This guy, Alex, comes up to me and says, "Ti takAya krasIvaya." WHAT?!?! I just looked at him, smile, nod and said, "uh huh!" He says it again. I make a gesture like "I have no idea what you're saying dude!"
He says, "no english, russian?"
Me:"Sorry no!"
Alex: "deutsch?"
Me:"Nope"
Alex:"Ti takAya krasIvaya"
His friend had come along by then and said, "He say he think you beautiful."
Me, "Oh thank you." So I thought that was the end of it because obviously we had a slight problem of not being able to understand each other. I mean, I have trouble understanding my own friends, let alone trying to understand a guy who is speaking Russian!!
Oh no! NOT the end. No indeed. I come upstairs and he points for me to sit down. Why I decided to sit down beside him is beyond me! Sometimes I do stupid things. Anyway, the whole time he is trying to speak to me in Russian! Still have no idea what your saying buddy. It's funny because every culture does it. We think that if we speak slower or louder that people will finally be able to understand us. Finally he looks at me and says, "I need wife." Where in the world he learned that phrase I have NO idea. Perhaps he asked a buddy. I don't think I replied, I was kind of shocked and I think i just shrugged my shoulders, because I guess I didn't think he would understand me saying that it wasn't going to happen.
Anyway, he asks when he can see me again and I tell him that I am only here on Thursday nights. He comes back again last night. This time I decide that I'm staying behind the counter. He comes in with a TRANSLATOR!! I mean, that was sweet for him to have a translator so that we could talk, but.... Anyway, my roommate, whose name is also Alex talks to man Alex. Apparently man Alex told her that "he gave his heart to me and that he fell in love." I'm not gonna lie and say that that is not one of sweetest things I've heard.
(Side note: Dad if you are reading this, I'm fine! I would never hang out with him alone. Paige and girl Alex are with me and I have to wear gloves at the Lighthouse.)
So finally I go out and talk to him, with Paige by my side. He gave me a book The Secret and tells me that it is a gift and I am never to give the book away because when someone gives you a gift it is important and rude to give away. I'll read it, for the sake of reading it, but it's more like a spiritual book in the sense of finding inner peace and going on a journey. Apparently its better in Russian and I'm to read it online in Russian if I can. Ok?!?
He said that he has read the Bible several times, but I'm not sure what he believes because he told girl Alex that he was a Mormon and had friends in Salt Lake City.
I told him he could come to Abbey if he wanted to see me again. I don't get creeped out by him like some of the other guys that I have met. (reiterate Dad I will not talk to him alone) Perhaps God will open the door to share my faith. Who knows, perhaps he will become a pastor and learn English and we'll be jolly happy people. haha... but I think it's a friendship that I can't ignore.
He definitely is pursuing me... too bad it's not going to work. But dang, American/Irish men you need to step up your game!!! When you like a girl just go for it. There are SO MANY AMAZING women out there. SO MANY!!! I give props to every guy that goes out on a limb and tries. Even if it doesn't work, good JOB!
Well, chappy chaps.... That's the story, I'm sure there will be more!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Sekai
Sekai, Lai Lai, and Davidso1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands
and my soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;
I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
Selah
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
7 "Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
Selah
10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:
the years of the right hand of the Most High."
11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will meditate on all your works
and consider all your mighty deeds.
13 Your ways, O God, are holy.
What god is so great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah
16 The waters saw you, O God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water,
the skies resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
19 Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.
20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
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